Don't Should on Yourself

Have you ever wondered about your beliefs?  Where they come from?  Why you choose what you choose?  Act the way you act?  Hate or love the people you hate or love?  How you learned to hate at all...?


Much of this comes from social constructs.  It's a topic that has been coming up a lot in my life lately, and in my clients' lives.  From the time we are born, we are being taught what our society, family, and religious beliefs believe to be right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable.


That could mean that we dislike certain people or races because of the way that they look, even having never met a person of that race.  It could mean that we decide that we are fat and ugly because we don't look like the covergirls on the magazines.  Or, it could mean that we choose to not be in uniquely defined relationships because they aren't the same as everyone else's.


When did we decide that other people's ideas were more valuable than our own?  Why do we as a human race, tend to put people on pedestals, and often take pleasure in seeing them fall off?  We are all perfectly imperfect.  I may have something wonderfully profound to say one moment and something completely ridiculous the next.  Am I insightful or an idiot?  Can I be both?  Can't we all?


So, I thought and I thought on this and I realized that for my truth, I can see that we are all connected and we are all doing our very best, as often as we can, to live in harmony with one another and we need some structure to help that along.  What we don't need, however, is judgments upon one another when we do things that are different.  Sure, lets go ahead and judge a little when someone harms another, or says mean, spiteful things.  But judging who one chooses to love and how they choose to express their love, is pointless and negative.  How we choose to decorate our home, keep stuff, toss stuff, exercise, be lazy, dance in public, or pretend to be a mime--this all should be moot.  A topic for an interesting conversation, and a reflection of ourselves and how we choose to live, perhaps even the "why" around it, but not the negative judgment that is so often made.


Next time you notice thoughts of "should" (should do this, or should've done that), explore where they come from.  Is the "should" really in alignment with YOUR core beliefs and values?  Or is it a social construct that you "should" do only because you've been programmed that if you don't do it that you're doing something wrong or bad?  Who decided that it's wrong or bad?  Check in with your gut.  Is it hurting yourself or others?  If the "should" isn't in alignment with your values and it isn't hurting anyone to not do it, or to do it differently, then perhaps it's time to let go of the "should".  


Someone once told me a long time ago, "Don't should on yourself".  And, I think he was on to something.  If you decide that you should have done the "should", then extrapolate the learning and apply it to your life immediately so you don't repeat the cycle.  And, perhaps apologize to someone too, if applicable.


The bottom line is this, when we check in with ourselves, and we move through life as often as possible from a place of love, the "should's" just disappear.  Explore the possibilities!  


Oh!  I almost forgot!  A wonderful side effect of dumping the social constructs and "should's", is FREEDOM!  And the anxiety melts away like snow in the spring!  Enjoy the peace!

Let Your Love Light Shine!

Love is very powerful.

Recently, I had an experience that really helped me gain perspective as to how incredibly lucky I am to have so many different forms of love available to me throughout my life. I have the joy of forming deeply connected bonds with my clients and others that have come into my life. And so, I've learned the many flavors of love and have a deep appreciation for the variety.

Many people only have had romantic love and familial love modeled for them. Spiritual, emotional, and friendship love are foreign concepts that they cannot relate with. In fact, for some people, the idea that love exists in these forms is like believing that the world is flat and having someone tell you that it is in fact, round. Back in the old days, it was unbelievable information, and it took a lot of time, science and enough leaders accepting it as truth for the rest of the people to finally accept it. The same is true for these flavors of love. And, it breaks my heart. That is why I feel it necessary to write about it here.

When people grow up with an absence of multi-flavored love concoctions, it can sometimes be difficult to share your innocent love with them. Many people only know love in a romantic/sexual way or in an immediate family way. When you show them love in a spiritual and humanitarian way, it can be misconstrued, particularly when you are relating with the opposite sex. And, that unfortunately, can lead to heartbreak and emotional distress. For the both of you. Trust me, I just went through this and it is agonizing. I truly considered just turning off, or at least using the dimmer switch to control the amount of love flow that I was projecting. I didn't want to have to deal with another misinterpretation of my affections... and then, I realized that not only would I be restricting my authentic self, but I would also be taking a gift away from the world.

As arrogant as that may have sounded, I firmly believe that each of us are gifted with LOVE and to show it and exult it is the highest form of gratitude to the Universe, aka God. We all, not just me, have an obligation to love fully and freely, and of course, respectfully. We need to let our love light shine full powered! We would be doing a disservice to ourselves and our world if we suppress it. Especially to those who aren't familiar with it and take it wrong... Because, the more they witness this kind of love firsthand, the more familiar it will become and the less likely they are to misunderstand again. And, the more likely they are to start sharing this kind of love as well! See, like a circle of love!

With this love does come responsibility, not only to the recipient, but also to ourselves. We need to listen to our intuition. Choose our loving words carefully and our physical expressions, like hugs, thoughtful and intentional. Explore your personal boundaries and then keep to them, firmly and kindly.

I'm here to encourage you all to open yourselves up to LOVE, in all of it's glorious forms! Share information, hugs, a smile, praise... and do it with loving intention. Let the love inside of you radiate out, and let the love of others filter in! The only way to increase love in the world, is to increase love within ourselves and through our outward expression.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 15

Money is not my supply. No person, place or condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of the Truth is unlimited, therefore, my supply is unlimited." ~exert from John Randolph Price, The Abundance Book

I feel tapped in. Seriously, everything is flowing in a beautiful profound way. I'm not necessarily seeing financial abundance, or really romantic abundance yet, but my relationships are deepening and new people, with amazing awareness, are coming into my existence. I live in gratitude, my metaphorical cup hath runneth over. Namaste.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 14

Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within, as my source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply. ~ expert from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

It's very interesting when I ponder this statement. At first, nothing much was coming up outside of the blah, blah, blah in my head. And then, as I continued to sit with it, two ideas emerged and merged. The first is that we as humans have constructed the word and definition of "enough". Our sentiment, "My cup hath runneth over", is again a representation of our limitations on what is enough. The Universe holds no measuring device for "enough" or "not enough". When I allow myself to sit with this curiosity inside of me, all of my problems and fears seem very, very small. I'm surmising that the secret is to tap into the infinite supply that is within without suppression, without judging what is "enough" or "not enough". When I am able to do that, when WE are able to do that, the possibilities will truly be endless.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 13

"I'm conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth." exert taken from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price.

I'm rolling with the punches, as they say. Who "they" are eludes me, but nonetheless, they do say it!

My new tenant decided not to take my house. In 24 hours I went from elated to fearful to grateful, just like that. I was so happy that I had someone who checked out well want to take the house. Then, I was uncomfortable/fearful for a short time when I found out he'd changed his mind. Afraid of all the "what if's" that could be. Then, as I pondered the way the fear felt in the pit of my stomach, I recognized with gratitude that God likely just helped me to dodge a bullet. It's expensive and frustrating to have rapid turnover in a rental house when you can't manage it yourself. Likely, he wasn't as good of a fit as he appeared, and by him leaving before coming, it saved me from having him decide a month or two down the road that it wasn't a good house for his needs. Whew!

I've been noticing how cool that phenomenon can be. I used the example with a client recently, when she was expressing concern over the dating experience and how hurtful it was to get blown off by men at different times. I told her to envision a large funnel. At the top of the funnel it is very, very wide and open to men of all kinds coming into her awareness. Little by little, they get squeezed out as they come down into the narrow part. At the bottom is a filter and that filter catches all the men who aren't good fits for her. Sometimes it happens by them blowing her off for a planned date, other times it's seeing how they treat a waitress in a restaurant. The filter helps to keep us from continuing to date the "wrong" men. God letting us off the hook before we get too many feelings invested. If we pay attention to the filters, we save ourselves a lot of grief. Now, that isn't to say that a man has to be perfect to make it all the way to you. No. The man certainly doesn't have to be perfect. It's just that his issues and quirks, and your issues and quirks, have to get along. You figure this out by all the subtle nuances of dating.

Now, that may seem like a huge digression, but indulge me for just another moment...

The Universe does that for everything in our lives. We just have to pay attention and not invest too much energy in the outcome. The Universe ALWAYS has our best interests at heart. Even if it appears that that isn't the case. If you can look at a scenario with detached awareness, you will always, eventually, find an understanding about why this or that happened. It may still have been a painful experience, and yet the learnings are paramount.

Apparently, someone even better and more suited is going to rent my house. Soon!

The Abundance Experiment, Day 10

1. I keep my mind and thoughts off “this world” and I place my entire focus on God within as the only Cause of my prosperity. I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible. I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me. ~Exert from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

I feel pretty clear right now. There are a few places within me that I sense are not in alignment with this as a complete belief. I trust that I am taken care of, but I'm still feeling like I need to do my part, and that is the "action" component.

Yesterday I finished my part finally of a long, laborious task; working towards amending a frustrating hospital bill. This has been quite daunting to me, stressing both my body and soul. Now that the required paperwork is done and in their hands, I can let it go... let the Universe take care of the bill and I don't have to worry about it anymore.

F For some reason, I have felt like part of this process of owning my eternal rights to Abundance, comes with freeing all the binds that material bills, taxes, and incidentals have on me. Specifically, anything that resembles "stuck" energy. This aspect of Abundance feels clear now and I can just let go of any expectation or anxiety and let the energy of money flow.

All the other aspects of Abundance is feeling really, really good right now. My relationship with my teenage son is really healthy and happy. My relationships in general have been good. I feel motivated and enjoying my work. And, I may be even creating a new romantic relationship....

The Abundance Experiment, Day 8

My consciousness of the Spirit within me as my unlimited Source is the Divine Power to restore the years the locusts have eaten, to make all things new, to lift me up to the High Road of abundant prosperity. This awareness, understanding and knowledge of Spirit appears as every visible form and experience that I could possibly desire. ~exert from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

I think about how today I was going through all my old writings and poems. Thinking about all that I learned from my failed relationships. How my perspective and awareness is so different now... I remember in my 20's reading things from my teens and marveling at the simplicity of my feelings. Now I am basically doing the same thing. I comment about this because I think of how Abundance isn't just money and material goods. It's love. It's friendship. It's music, and nature, and everything that you could hope and dream for.

I dream of romantic abundance. I have yearned to find my partner. I have yearned for this, and yet felt very, very content in my life without. I have enjoyed meeting different men and having wonderful interactions, and as of yet, I have not met the one that I choose to take the rest of the journey with.

As this awareness flows through me, patience and tolerance for MYSELF radiates like never before. I recognize that I am not perfect still, as I always have, and yet I am not fixating on perfection in myself or in my partner. The more that I cut myself some slack for being a mere human doing my best to connect and live with Spirit, the more I cut the same slack for everyone else. We are all just doing the best we can, with the tools we've got. I've often been good at allowing that in others, but rarely within myself.

I think that as I ponder this abundance that is gathering within me and through me, it is restoring the parts of me that the locusts have destroyed, creating me anew, and finally ready, to meet my love.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 7

The Divine Consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance. This is its responsibility, not mine. My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth. Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs.~exert from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

I'm not perfect and I'm having imperfect thoughts.... Today, I found myself thinking about how I need to see a couple of different natural doctors for some therapy, but I am not wanting to go (despite how I need their help) because I don't want to spend the money. Apparently, I am still not quite embracing this whole abundance concept.

Maybe that's why he has it set as a 40 day plan, not a 7 day???

I'm calling tomorrow to make my appointments.

A sidebar to abundance may be compassion. I had an interesting dialog with an acquaintance of mine over Facebook today going back and forth about Whitney Houston's passing. ALL I feel is deep, profound compassion for her daughter, other family members, and friends... and her. It's painful to watch someone so extraordinarily talented piss away their talent and their life.

I went through this with a singer/songwriter/composer friend of mine that passed away several Thanksgivings ago. He had an ongoing passionate love/hate affair with both himself and drugs. It manifested in the most horrific and painfully beautiful ways. When he overdosed and left us, he left a hole the size of Texas in the hearts of his family members. He hurt them repeatedly while he was alive. But, every single one of them would rather have him alive and repeating his behavior, then gone forever.

I think the same is true for Whitney. She was troubled and addicted. Was she a bad person? Even if she did some bad things? Nah... she was a human being, doing the best she could. If she had the capacity to do better, she would have. She didn't though, and we need to forgive her for that and be grateful for all the good that she did bring to us. It may be helpful to remember the different ways that we individually aren't always perfect. Life is way too short to be a hater. Let it go, have some compassion for others. And, then get REAL and have some compassion for yourself. You deserve it.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 6

1. My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires. ~ exert from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price

I I went shopping today, not for anything specific, but mostly just to move the energy around.... I'm giggling a little right now because I think that's the first time I've ever used that excuse before to go shopping! I bought a few little things here and there, and each time I made it to the register, the prices were discounted even more! It was a fun experiment of shopping and supply in action!

I'm finding that I'm not processing these last few statements as verbally as the first couple. I guess I feel somewhat like I would be redundant, as I'm actively trying to live with these principles deep within me, flowing out of me. The laws of cause and effect are naturally occurring internally and externally.

The Abundance Experiment, Day 3

"I'm conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth." exert taken from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price.

Today was an interesting day, filled with lots of introspection and poignant conversation with a dear friend. I feel as if I am hyper-analyzing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions of the reality I am creating. Catching myself when I'm not remembering who I truly am, and calling myself out on it. And then, teaching myself to let it go. To not hold too tightly to what I think I may be doing "wrong", but rather acknowledging how I can have a better experience by making a different choice next time, and then being done with it. It feels very freeing. I'm beginning to understand on a deeper level that Prosperity and Abundance have everything to do with my inner representation. In fact, that may be the only factor that ultimately matters. The "Inner" therefore, creates the "Outer". This is my beacon. My Light of Truth that I must follow as I create my reality, as I create my "Lavish Abundance".

The Abundance Experiment, Day 2

"" I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand, and to know that the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and Substance of all my good." -John Randolph Price, exert from The Abundance Book.

The Divine Presence I AM... I think that that is the Source and Substance of ALL. Good and Bad, those judgments that I put on circumstances within my perspective. Everything the Universe puts in my path is for my very best. Some things may be interpreted as "bad" by me, and others as "good", but ultimately all for my BEST.

I say this with a bit of a smirk, I must confess. Today was a very good day by my personal standards, and yet I had something happen that could have absolutely taken my vantage point to a disturbing low. I somehow missed a stop sign on my way to dinner, leaving a long day at work. And, I wasn't alone as I missed my stop. Conveniently, there was a police officer to witness my infraction and he very kindly, but firmly, pulled me over and presented me with a ticket! At first I was so confused... I've driven this route a hundred times and have always stopped. Somehow tonight my mind was on something else, likely food, and I just didn't stop--had zero recollection that there even existed a stop sign there. It was all so very bizarre.

My immediate reaction was that of scoffing disbelief that just on day 2 alone of my prosperity plan I would LOSE at least a few hundred dollars, that I don't believe (didn't believe) I can bear to lose, by a simple oversight. And, I sat in my truck for a few moments collecting myself and reflecting on the irony. Some may say that Murphy's Law was out to get me. I actually used to truly believe that I would jinx myself from anything that I wanted if I thought of it too much or showed too much joyous emotion. Thankfully, I learned a while ago that that kind of thinking was crap. Negative. And, counter productive. However, it's obvious to me that some strands of that former consciousness still harbor within me, or I would have right away noticed the gift of my ticket...

This is my gift from tonight's experience: The Universe was playfully testing me. Before it starts allowing the energetic flow of money and abundance my way, it needs to know that I can release all attachments to what that will look like. I need to let go of the feelings of "Lack" and fully, deeply... penetratingly deeply, OWN the beliefs that money is a revolving door of energy.

Although the ticket certainly didn't feel "good" in the human kind of way, I recognize on a deeper and WAY more trustworthy level, that it was for MY GOOD in the highest sense of the meaning. And so, we close on Day 2 with a little drama, a hint of an antagonist character, always a plus for any story worth reading, don't you think?

The Abundance Experiment, Day 1

Forward

Today I start a journey of self-discovery and increased awareness. I have read the book, The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price, and am applying the principles and instructions for allowing the full spectrum of Abundance to not only come into my life, but to overwhelm me so that the Abundance also flows out of me and into others', as it is intended. This is a process of dedication and serious belief change.

I have decided to do Mr. Price's 40 Day Prosperity Plan publicly. Journaling my innermost thoughts and beliefs, allowing myself to be completely transparent and vulnerable to whatever audience chooses to follow this journey with me. This plan ascends as such, one time per day I will write out, in order, one of the ten statements from the book. I will meditate upon the words for several minutes, and then journal my thoughts, feelings, and feedback as to what I see happening in my world, which may or may not be effected by this Prosperity Plan. I will use some critical judgment, as well as, intuition and spiritual insights. Bear with me, as I could get mushy from time to time doing this experiment!

I will appreciate your feedback, even if you think I won't like what you have to say, because this, like any good experiment, will only become richer with input from a variety of opinions.

My hypothesis is that money will flow freely to and from me, building momentum and solidarity, as the God-given energetic tool that it is. I also believe that I will see abundance in other areas where it "feels" like it's been lacking, namely, in the romance department! I'm open to abundance how ever it shows itself to me, and I will share candidly with you. If you choose to take on this Prosperity Plan, I strongly urge you to purchase the book, read it, and then begins when you can fully commit to 40 continual days.

From the book, as instructed:

This day, February 6, 2012, I cease believing in visible money as my supply and my support and I view the world of effect as it truly is... simply an outpicturing of my former beliefs. I believed in the power of money, therefore I surrendered my God-given power and authority to an objectified belief. I believed in the possibility of lack, thus causing a separation in consciousness from the Source of my supply. I believed in mortal man and carnal conditions, and through this faith gave man and conditions power over me. I believed in the mortal illusion created by the collective consciousness of error thoughts, and in doing so, I have limited the Unlimited. No more! This day, I renounce my so-called humanhood and claim my divine inheritance as a Be-ing of God. This day I acknowledge God and only God as my substance, my supply and my support.

Day 1

"God is lavish, unfailing Abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the Universe. This all-providing Source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me—the Reality of me."

Thoughts:

At first glance, I think to myself, "Oh, heck yeah!" Years before The Secret became such a phenomenon I had learned about beliefs and the structures that support them. I had come to realize that just as a single grain of sand is still, nonetheless, sand... I am also fully God, as we all are. So, this type of thinking on the surface, isn't new. It is the core basis of my beliefs.

And then, the thought occurred to me... "if you truly believed this to be true, then you wouldn't have to do this Prosperity Plan experiment. You would already be living in Abundance." So, apparently I have some serious, deep rooted beliefs systems, likely that I was taught by my parents and grandparents, that I still believe to be true. They have always feared lack, and I need to own that I do also, so I can release it and stop making it true.

The next thought that I process is this, "Infinite prosperity??? What is that? What would it look like? Will I be able to handle it if it really comes to fruition?"

Ah-ha... now I understand why this requires 40 straight days to reprogram this multi-layered belief matrix.

Your Life is YOUR Message!

“My Life is My Message” ― Mahatma Gandhi

This is true for all of us... What message are you sending? Is it an immediate message, like an e-mail or a text? Or, rather, like a message in a bottle, where the intended information may never land into the hands of the desired recipient. I encourage you in the New Year to be clear in your message. Through your words, your actions, your thoughts… Live with the intention of what your desired outcome is.

If you are loving someone, perhaps it’s time to share your love. And, if it isn’t appropriate to tell them, perhaps you may enjoy just sending them the clean vibration of love, without any strings attached or expectations. Real love isn’t binding in it’s expression. It’s not dependent upon being reciprocated. It just IS.

If you are wanting a new friendship to develop or deepen, perhaps it is time for you to take it to the next level by initiating a get-together… a coffee date, a movie, a walk.

If you are wanting new business connections, perhaps you can DO business with others’. Leave out the expectations of whether or not they reciprocate. Just spread the good news of the quality of their business and watch as others’ perceive YOUR business as being of the highest quality too!

Like attracts like. Be fully what you would like to receive. Allow for others’ to not be in your same space, we are all in our own place of growth, and we learn best from all the different people we come in contact with, the ‘young’ and the ‘old’.

Bring into this New Year a hope everlasting… Know deep inside that dreams really do come true. Love is Bliss. Time does heal all wounds. And, that your contribution to the world is just as valuable as mine, as your Uncle Tom’s, as the woman down the street, and even as valuable as Mahatma Gandhi himself! You are blessed and loved… Cheers!

Happy Holidays!

The holidays always have a certain element of the ole' "hustle and bustle" that creates a bit of a frantic feeling. There never seems to be enough time... Trying to plan who's coming over, where everyone is going to sleep, what presents go to whom, and how the heck are we supposed to feed all these people?! It's chaotic, full of memories, laughter and tempers, and always a little football. Too many sweets, too much debt, and too little sleep. Somehow, we manage... we get through... and then, we collapse!

The holidays are also a time to cherish... our friends and family that come together with the intention of loving and sharing time together. Despite the outcome, the original intentions are rarely anything other than each of us wanting it to go smoothly and joyously. It doesn't always go as planned. And, sometimes our family can drive us crazy. But, if we can try to remember that then original intentions were positive, at least we can go home with those positive feelings.

Life is too short to hold grudges. It's too short to let the little stuff get in the way of the big picture. Wrap yourself in a hug of knowledge that your family loves you, even if they don't always show you in your preferred love language.... or even if they don't know how to show you love at all.

I'm awfully lucky to have a family to love. And, a family that loves me too...

I wish you all the love and joy and forgiveness that each holiday season requires!

Gratitude: The Key to Healthy Relationships

Let’s face it, relationship zeal can falter in even the strongest, most healthy relationships. Be it with your best girlfriend, colleague, or your beloved, there will be times that are more dynamic and intimate than others. So, how do you get a pulse back into your flat-lined relationship? Expression of gratitude. Even when you don’t feel any. Ever heard of the expression, “Fake it till you make it”? Well, it works. Now, I’m not typically in favor of inauthentic expressions, however, sometimes they can be the difference that makes the difference. Did you know that if you are feeling blue and you force yourself to smile that it will naturally start the process of releasing endorphins which will naturally take you out of the blues! Same concept with gratitude. Start feeling it, expressing it, living it, and it will start reflecting back onto you from every encounter. We can even make a difference in our relationships by expressing our gratitude for another in private. Science isn’t sure how it works, but here are the general, non-scientific, explanations: You yourself are putting out subconscious vibes of approval and love and the other person picks up on it. You put your message out into the “collective unconscious” and the other person receives your message through that channel. You literally, psychically, plant the thought and love into the other person, they have no choice but to receive the message. However you choose to believe it works, is the exact and perfect answer to how it works. Just know that it does work!!!

Exercises for Bringing Life into Strained Relationships

Exercise #1

1. Take a few moments to sit down and think about who is in your life that you would like to have a better relationship with. It doesn’t have to be a key person, it can be as simple as the mailman that seems annoyed all the time. But, it can be a key person, such as your husband/partner, that things seem “off” or lackluster with. Make a list if need be.

2. Systematically go down through the list and make mental notes (or physical ones!) describing all the qualities that you admire in the person.

3. Meditate on each of the people on the list with the positive attributes you’ve recognized, thanking them for the parts you’re grateful for.

4. Do this daily as a practice of meditation and gratitude. I like to do it as I go to sleep at night. I feel like it calms my spirit and helps me to remember who and what are important in my life, and why. I sleep like a contented baby….

Exercise #2

1. Think about one person that you have a strained or distant relationship with that you would like resolved. Preferably, this person lives in proximity or you will be seeing them shortly.

2. Think about what has gone wrong in the relationship from your perspective. Then, put yourself in their shoes for a few moments and look at your relationship, good and bad, from their perspective. Allow the feelings to marinade.

3. Write them a letter sharing with them all of the things that you admire about them. It may be that they are handy around the house. It may be that they are amazingly smart. It may be that they make a great supper, or give good hugs when you are sad, or that you think they are honorable. Whatever qualities you appreciate, write it down in a letter format. Do not include anything negative. Only the positive things…

4. Meet with them and read them your letter face to face. Do this from a perspective of love and building a bridge, starting from your side of the river. Keep your expectations at bay and just let the positive energy flow.

5. Leave them the letter if they would like it.

6. Know that you are love in action.

Your Mindset Dictates Your Outcome

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." ~Henry Ford

"That which you are seeking, is seeking you." ~Rumi

What do these famous quotes have in common? Mindset, to put it simply.

The Law of Attraction has been quite the buzz for the last few years. People's awareness is increasing and many people are capitalizing on it. And why not? There have always been those who are meant to teach, and those who are meant to learn. And, the "law" is an amazing lesson to learn! It is interesting to me, however, that the message has been around for centuries, coming in and out of fashion, with a fancy "catch phrase" here and there... The Secret, anyone? But, the message is hardly a secret. It's known. It's talked about. And, it works. Unfortunately, it's also underutilized.

So what makes the Law of Attraction so compelling again now? The last forty years or so has been a pivotal time in history. Things are shaking up, rules have been broken and re-wrote and are still being re-written every day. So why now does more than half the world's population know what the law of attraction is, and yet... so many people are still struggling to utilize it? In a word, perception. Many of us were taught things like "If it seems to good to be true, then it probably is" (says who?), "easy come, easy go" (really?), "there is nothing for free" (except Costco samples). All of these sentiments have value and are totally accurate and appropriate... within certain contexts. For example, if a dashing man tells you of a shady investment that will only cost you most of your life savings, but the chances of making millions off of this deal are 100 to 1, but the facts and fictions don't add up very well, then perhaps you should pay heed to the old saying of something being too good to be true! But, to hold the idea in your head that every potential investment that you could partake in is a 'too good to be true' deal, just because you could make a nice profit, is likely just a fear mindset pattern that will hold you back from ever maximizing your earning potential.

There is a time and a place to apply the old adages. This is where using common sense, listening to your intuition, holding sacred space for the possible, and maybe hedging your bets a little... come into play. We aren't foolproof 100% of the time. Nor does the Law of Attraction work for every possible scenario all the time. The Universe is a glorious, vast expanse of amazing opportunities. You have to give a little wiggle room for the scenes to play out the many ways they could. How boring would Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell be if the movie director never let them add-lib or run with their comedic brilliance? Let the Universe have a little play room with It's brilliance!

Explore attraction. Look into the seat of your soul and excavate your most passionate desires. Take that desire and create an outline of how your can express your desire. Be specific without being rigid. Then open yourself up to it happening! Let the Universe show you how and where, and when it will unfold!

I have to share a little personal story now... I knew that it was time to leave Spokane, my hometown. My ex-husband and I had all these wonderful adventures that we were going to manifest together that would take us to other parts of the world, but then we had the "stuff" come up between us that ultimately ended our marriage. I was left with still wanting to create an adventurous life. I felt like an eagle with a broken wing--I knew I had it in me to soar, I just needed to mend and change my environment first. So, I started writing up a manifestation, otherwise known as, a loose outline of what I desired and where I desired to live. I explored different areas of the world that were curious to me and narrowed my search for a new town down to a few geographic areas.

And then, I went on a vacation with a couple of old friends that I had reconnected with through the mysteries of Facebook. We had an absolutely marvelous time and in the course of the vacation, I shared with them about my desire to move. They insisted that I come and visit them in their beloved beach town of Santa Cruz, CA. I had never even considered living in the Bay area because of the high cost of living, but San Francisco had been one of my favorite all-time cities in the world, and so I was a little curious to see if I would like living in the area. So, I went for a visit, fell in love with the area and the proximity to the city, set a move date and viola! Moved to Santa Cruz less than six months later! And, my life has gone into overdrive with that of loving friendships, male affection, interesting and wonderful clients, opportunities knocking around every corner... it's been a dream come true!

Those two friends were a catalyst for change for me. They were so incredibly there for me when I was vulnerable and scared in a new, exciting transition--and the Universe knew that that was what I needed to move me into this life of opportunity that I was meant for! You never know what or who will come up or how it will manifest, unless you keep open and let the Universe do it's magic!

Life is an adventure. Just like in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, there is a delicious surprise around every corner. If you can allow a shift to occur in your thinking that will accommodate that perception. You allow that shift in thinking to happen one thought at a time. When a negative thought, or lack mentality idea comes to you, recognize it for what it is, then let it go... laugh it off as ancient history... reframe it into a positive viewpoint... maybe even make up a short mantra that you can repeat over and over so it sticks...

In fact, repeat after me:

I am capable... I am amazing... I am love... I attract opportunities... I am happy... I am love.....

Recharge Your Battery

Have you ever noticed how incredibly delicious and refreshing a good nights' sleep can be? Of course you have! And, do you know why a good rest makes you feel so good? Below you will find just a sampling of what happens to you and your body when you become sleep deprived.

1. Stress:

Our bodies naturally go into a "high alert" zone when we don't get enough sleep. Imagine your cells working triple overtime to accomplish even the smallest of tasks. A decent runner can for a few miles without being overtaxed, but if you were to ask the same runner to sprint those same few miles, the result would be very different. When you don't get enough consistent (optimal word!) sleep, it's like sprinting on your body and brain. Eventually, we just hit a wall and can't go anymore.

2. Inflammation:

Our body self-repairs while we sleep. When we don't get enough uninterrupted sleep, it prohibits the organs from doing an efficient job of cellular repair. Inflammation is one result. Inflammation is linked to cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. It also increases aging... and we all can admit (can't we???) that we want to look as young and beautiful for as long as we can!

3. Memory Enhancement:

Sleeping and dreaming are key aspects of memory. When we sleep and dream we process information we accrue throughout our days and create links and memories that stabilize our perception of reality. Lack of sleep is directly connected to Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia.

4. Weight Management:

Sleep helps to balance hormones in the body. When our hormones are not balanced, or we aren't producing enough of one kind or the other, our appetite will be affected. Hormones play a huge role in our overall function and management of our bodies and minds. Next time you want to lose weight, try increasing your sleep to 7-9 hours per night in conjunction with a healthy diet and some form of exercise and see where that takes you.

There are so many reasons to get a good night sleep. In fact, if you are interested in learning more, be sure to visit http://www.supermemo.com/articles/sleep.htm. It's a highly informative article that details valuable information about sleep and wellness.

And, I want to include a few tips to enhance your ability to have a good night's sleep...

1. Take care of your body. Stretch out, exercise, get a massage. Your body's little aches and pains, tight muscles and pinched nerves all contribute to discomfort, creating wakefulness periodically throughout the night.

2. Stop having caffeine after noon. Caffeine, even in small doses, can stimulate the brain making it harder to fall asleep.

3. Take supplements such as Melatonin, Valerian Root, or Kava Kava. Let the herbs naturally relax you into an impressive slumber.

4. Drink herbal tea. Not only are there wonderful antioxidants in many herbal tea formulas, but they can also relax and encourage a good nights rest. Try Traditional Medicinals, it's easily found in grocery stores and natural food markets and boasts premium quality herbs. To find out more or to order try this link http://www.traditionalmedicinals.com/calming_teas.

5. Have sex. Yes, I said it. Sex. It's wonderful for releasing hormones, endorphins, and natural relaxants. Not to mention, you can burn a few calories too!

Sleep well my friends!

There is No Time For Goodbye

When the time comes to say goodbye to a loved one when they are nearing transition into the great beyond, how do you say it? How can you say it? There is no time for goodbye, not when goodbye comes too quickly.

My Aunt, so often doubling as a mother to me at different times in my life, is finally succumbing to the ovarian cancer that has assumed control of her body.

My Aunt... so many stories to tell of her caretaker's soul. The dogs and cats in the neighborhood pooled their resources a long time ago and started an outreach program for all the strays and wounded animals. They would show up at her door and would always find some food, warmth, and especially love in her arms of safety. So much loving care for others, even people! Her work at the hospital kept her busy most days, and caring for her ailing mother the rest of the time. My great Aunt, her mother, passed just after her diagnoses was made. It broke her heart not to have been with her. Always thinking of others, especially family.

I saw her, last January, and we talked about death... and about living. She'd defeated her fear of dying. But, the fear of living in agony had moved in. That may be the hardest part. The idea that one may be tortured by their own body. Betrayed after years of loving care, both by the body caring for the soul, and the soul, caring for the body. Some people have been abused for years and years by their dying bodies. Ravaged by cancer cells mutating and molesting in ceaseless, indestructible patterns. Others are taken quickly to the beyond. Either way, goodbye is hard to come by, and so very hard to say.

It feels hideous to my ears to say this, my fingers to type this, but I am relieved. I am relieved that her suffering will not last long. Just long enough for people to come to her and try to find time, find a way... to say goodbye. My love, all of our love, surrounds her as she comes upon her final hour. I know, or rather, I believe, that the transition to the great beyond will bring her great peace and clarity. Another dimension that is so connected that we never leave here, for there... we never leave there, for here either.

We all have an Aunt--a loved one that's time has come--and there is never enough time for goodbye. Never enough time to reiterate our deepest affections. Never enough time to let go of the hurt, the old wounds, the fears, the loss, the abandonment that comes from them leaving... But, they know. In their deepest moments of clarity, they see and feel the love come through them in waves of energy and light. They never leave us, we never leave them. The energy is ever present.

I, likely much like yourself, am very, very lucky and honored to have wonderful people in my life to surround and support me. My Aunt is one of them. Soon, her form will be different, but her love and support will still be viable. I have no time for goodbye. My love goes with her beyond.

Perspective

Perspective can be an elusive spy. Just when you think you have it, it ducks around a corner and an illusion takes it's place.

I don't think I have all the answers by any means, but I am learning from my mistakes and observing the mistakes of others. And, I'm learning about what other's have learned and shared, not necessarily as mistakes, but as inspirations. I want to share with you what I have learned from this collective inspiration.

You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want. That said though, it's a really good thing to keep open doors of possibility. Those doors that lead to the spaces where your wildest imagination hasn't yet breached. Those are the doors that the Universe loves to open and surprise us with!

Carve out of your consciousness enough room for the inconceivable. Enough room for the miraculous. Enough room for sublime joy. It is possible. It happens every day to random people. It CAN happen to you.

Fear is the equivalent of a cockblock. It sits next to you, on you, inside of you and blocks the Universe from granting you abundance. It feeds itself, much like the monster under your bed. It is imagination at its worst. It festers and gets stronger with more thoughts about it. It's harder to kill than a cockroach. It feeds depression... shame... lack of self-worth... It creates a downward spiral of all things negative. Practice letting go of fear. Talk to yourself about how the fear is irrational. How it's unproductive. How it's unhealthy. How it tears relationships apart.

When fear, depression, or loneliness creep into your consciousness, don't feed them! Watch happy movies. Listen to happy, upbeat music. Surround yourself with happy people and steer clear of the Negative Nelly's of life. Change your thoughts. It is truly the one thing that you have 100% control over in life (barring any mental illness!). It's hard, but the rewards are worth it. Every time a negative, fear-based thought comes into your mind, re-frame it into a positive, healthier version of the thought. For example: "I'm never going to meet my soulmate" (boo-hoo) into "I am meeting interesting, wonderful people every day! One of these people may even be my soulmate!"

Get curious and allow for adventure! Get to know people and open yourself up to the possibilities that surround you! Start with incremental changes in your thought processes and let it flow from there. And most importantly, step back and take in the view. Seeing the big picture or multiple perspectives is a fast and healing way to start enjoying life and the people that share in it!

Think on This...

What would you think about if you weren't taught what to think about?

My first reaction to this question is, "I think about what I want, dammit! My thoughts are my own!" My second reaction is, "Oh my... my thoughts are 100% tainted by the environment and people around me."

Case in point, a client tells me the other day while I'm giving him a massage about the best sushi in Santa Cruz. We debate the pro's and con's of the various cafes, meanwhile salivating heavily, almost obnoxiously, while massaging his back. It's been four days of craving sushi now. I will have to submit sometime soon, because my mind is so wrapped around the idea of eating sushi. Would I have automatically started craving sushi at this exact moment in time had it not been for that conversation? I think not. I'm relatively sure that a person who has never tasted sushi or doesn't live in an area that serves sushi, wouldn't have a spontaneous and lasting sushi craving. Therefore, it must have been a thought that was planted by my conversation.

Now, I do understand that he wasn't setting out to "teach" me what to think. So, I slanted the thought process a bit, but the overall truth is that in some way or another, we are taught, encouraged, pushed into thinking about things a certain way.

And, our families.... whoa... that's a whole other story! Imagine just from the time you are the littlest baby, over time you are taught to cry to alert your parents to your needs. Then you are taught what foods to eat, based on what foods your parents choose to buy at the store and feed you. Then you are taught a specific language, with a certain accent, because you are parroting what you hear around you. Then you decide what type of God, or none at all, that you believe in because your family makes you go to church, or temple, or you live in a New Age hippie commune. You're taught right from wrong, based solely on the mores of your immediate society, which has been so diluted from our intrinsic truths, that we can't even trace back with complete accuracy whomever made the rules of "right and wrong" in the first place!

It's crazy, isn't it?

My head spins in circles as I ponder what is true for me, and what I think I may have always believed to be true because I unquestionably trusted that it was. And, now that I have this consciousness, it is my right and responsibility to do my own self-exploration to know, without a doubt, what I believe and why. And, then to live my truth without feeling like I need to push it on others. I think there is plenty of pushing to go around, so I'll bow out of that experiment!

Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to think on this. Learn who you are and what you believe and why you believe it. Test your beliefs against your gut. If you get a twinge of fear, negativity, doubt, or just the physical feeling of "yuckiness", it's probably your intuition that's telling you the belief isn't authentic. And, that's your cue to dig deeper, get more clear, so you can live fully, thinking your own thoughts.

If you want some help in this process, call me and set up an appointment for either in person or the phone. I'm not going to tell you what you should believer, but I will walk you through some different tools that will open up your own self-discovery!