Is Hypnosis Safe & Will it Help Me?

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are often thought of as this ambiguous idea of "mind control" that creates fear and concern in many people.  The media has done a fine job of creating a mammoth misunderstanding about what hypnosis is, and what it isn't.  I would like to provide a little education to my readers, in hopes to squelch the fear patterns.  And, let's face it, we could all use a little less fear in our lives!   (One of the many things that hypnosis can help with, by the way!)

Hypnotic trance is a natural state that we are in and out of periodically throughout our day.  Any time that we are accessing our imagination... watching a compelling movie or television show... driving down the highway lost in thought... planning our lives in our heads with details and pictures, just like we are actually doing the activities... we are in a state of hypnosis.  Therefore, ALL hypnosis is SELF hypnosis.  A natural, safe, wonderful way to allow your conscious mind to rest and your subconscious mind to create!

Locked into our subconscious minds is everything that we have ever heard, seen, imagined, or interpreted.  Our perspectives, at different times in our lives, can be very different.  Remember when you were a little child and your uncle seemed so very big?  And now, as an adult, you can recognize that he's actually a very small man.  He didn't change, but your perspective of how you interpreted him, did change.  We do this with all sorts of stuff.  Something as innocent as overhearing your mother on the phone with someone when you are three years old, saying something to the effect of, "Oh yes, my girl is SUCH a fast learner!"  This seems really innocent, doesn't it?  A nice, positive thing to hear!  Well... maybe.  If this statement becomes locked into your subconscious mind as a truth about who you are and how you identify yourself in this world, what happens when you try to learn something new and you don't learn "fast"?  Maybe the result is that you think you are a failure.  You quit.  You work even harder to prove that you are a fast learner.  You feel like you've let down everyone.  You get depressed and frustrated.  You react full of blame and resentment.  These are all potential fallout of a pleasant, innocuous comment made when you were three years old that you identified with.

As crazy as that scenario may sound, I see it happening in my practice time and again, in one form or the other. Sometimes, it's a negative comment that locks in.  All of what we've heard, seen and learned is taken in through our personal perspective, and somewhere along the way, in our subconscious minds, we decide if it is true or false and then it dictates our behaviors, successes and failures, for the rest of our lives.

Unless we do something about it....

Hypnosis is a tool to do something about it.  A qualified certified hypnotherapist should have the tools to help assess where your stumbling blocks are, and how to navigate the relaxation process to delve into your subconscious mind and help YOU to discover the different things that have come into your awareness throughout your life (and maybe before), and for YOU to create resolution and peace with.

So much healing can occur when you actually understand all of the internal motivating factors that have to do with who you choose to be in this world, and how to change the parts that aren't working for you.

Hypnosis is not a medium to let the devil in.  It doesn't open you up to the "dark side" anymore than sleep does, or watching television, or meditation.  Like I stated above, it is a natural state.  When you work with a qualified, certified hypnotist or hypnotherapist, you will NEVER do anything or say anything that you do not (on some level) want to do or say.  I like to explain it like this--you and your therapist are taking a trip.  You are the driver and they are the navigator.  You have handed them the map of where you would like to be directed, but at any given time, if you choose to turn left instead of right, YOU are in control and can do just that.  A qualified therapist will help keep you on track based on the previously agreed upon plan, but ultimately, you are the boss and you get to exactly where you need to be, and what you are ready for, that day.

Sometimes, multiple sessions are needed to really get the work done.  Baby steps to help you reach your goal.  The old expression, "The teacher will appear when the student is ready" goes even one step further with hypnotherapy, "The subconscious mind will allow what the client is ready for".  Choose your hypnotist that you feel safe and comfortable with, who listens to you (both spoken and unspoken communication), and that you intuit will be supportive and knowledgeable about how to maximize your time together for the best possible results!

Now, allow yourself to relax into a transformative experience that is specially designed just for you and put your worries away!  You'll love it!

Good Massage News

What makes a massage a good massage?

So often I have people come to me that tell me how much they love being massaged. Or, conversely, they tell me that they don't really care for massage, but perhaps they have a pain in their shoulder that they can't tolerate anymore and decided to try again. In essence, any type of touch therapy that you walk away happy with, is a good massage. However, to discriminating massage connoisseurs, there are several areas that distinguish between a so-so massage and and oh-so-wonderful one! Here are some things to consider when receiving a massage so you too can be an official massage aficionado!

~As a general rule, massages should feel good, like pain is being released, not pain being inflicted! (there are occasional exceptions to this rule that a good therapist will go over with you)

~The contact and firmness of the massage should be at a level that you enjoy. If you feel like you are being bruised or like your bones are being pushed on aggressively, it's important that you speak up and let the therapist know it isn't working for you. If the pressure is too light, let the therapist know that more pressure would be appreciated, and keep telling them until they get it right! This is your dollar that is buying this massage, it needs to be about your needs!

~A good massage therapist will direct the flow towards your heart. The lymphatic system goes in both ways, but the veins have valves that only open in one direction, towards your heart. It's important to keep the blood flow in that direction, rather than against those delicate valves. Light pressure massages will not affect the valves negatively, but a deep tissue massage can, so just be conscientious.

~If you feel a little sore for a day or two after a massage, don't worry! It means that your muscles were really worked over and your body has created some lactic acid to aid in the healing process. Just like working out, massages work the body. More massages and/or workouts, the less sore you will be after. If you aren't sore at all, you may have the type of body composition that just doesn't get sore easily, or you may want to try a firmer pressure massage next time.

~Conversation. Sometimes conversation happens during a massage, and that's okay...as long as that is what you want to happen. A good massage therapist should follow your cues. If you ask questions and stimulate conversation, she should follow until you cease to ask anymore questions. If you get quiet, so should she. Unless she needs to check- in with something massage related. Then, it is important for her to know how the pressure is, if you like something special, or are disliking a specific technique. It's important for her to use active listening skills, both verbal and non-verbal. Just know that you control what ultimately happens during your massage, you're paying for it! So, if you aren't wanting to talk, say so. Gently, of course...

~Temperature, music, and oils... they all play an important role in your receiving a good massage. If you are cold, you won't be able to relax as thoroughly as is optimal, so speak up and ask for a blanket. If you aren't digging the tunes, have her turn them off, change CD's, or at least turn the volume down. If you don't like the massage oil or lotion of choice, ask her if she has another option. Often times, there are alternatives available for your enjoyment.

The bottom line is this, you can't necessarily control the ability of the therapist, but you can at least control the atmosphere and tone of the massage by making your expectations and desires clear. And, if you still don't get the type of massage that you are hoping for, please try again with someone else. Each therapist will have a unique style and technique. So, get a recommendations from someone you know. Or, look at the reviews on Yelp! or Google, or Yahoo! They are real people, with real reviews of services they have received.

Internet Dating. The New Modern form of Arranged Marriage?

It's crazy, isn't it? This modern, high tech version of dating that we have progressed into. In fact, I think in some ways, I may even compare it to the antiquated arranged marriages. Seriously folks, in years past and in some cultures currently, the parents of both the bride and groom finitely choose who in theory, they believe would be the best fit for their child. Sometimes they even hire expert matchmakers to come in and determine who is best suited based on the earnings of the parents, the hierarchal ancestry, the education, physical beauty, and overall health. The only thing that isn't necessarily taken into consideration, is attraction and chemistry. Really, "love".

So, here we are in the modern era, essentially going online and doing the same thing. And, instead of your mother and grandmother popping in their two cents about Little Bobby (who has a drooling problem) being the catch of a lifetime because his father owns the bank, instead you have the computer database linking attributes that would make two people potentially compatible. Now, the good news is this: with computer dating, you can see that Little Bobby has the drooling problem based on the wet mark on his shirt in his profile picture. There is no need to proceed further, all the information you need is presented, despite his father's best efforts!

So, we put our information out there, into never-never land and hope that someone with good, strong genes, that doesn't smoke or do drugs, who wants 2 kids (a boy and a girl), will pop up with a good picture, a pleasing voice and then... finally, pheromones to die for! A sense of humor that you actually understand, the bonus! But, what exactly are we getting when we do this? Do we really have the opportunity to meet our "soulmate", or are we potentially missing out on our one and only because we are too busy perusing profiles on Plenty of Fish?

The single most important question that I have is this: Are you being authentic when you describe yourself? Do you have the ability to see yourself accurately? Yes! And, of course not! We all want to be honest about who we are, at least, some of us do... hahaha... But, having the ability to be honest is a totally different story, because we are such multi-dimensional human beings. We could have a friend write our profiles for us, but then we would only have the perspective that they see in us, tainted by their judgments both good and bad, and the parts of us that we show them, not necessarily the perspective that a future love interest would see. We all know that we are a bit chameleon by nature, different people bring out different sides of us. So then, what if we choose to interview several close friends and relatives, get a very well-rounded perspective that may show us accurately in 3-D? Couple that with our own inner sanctuary of thoughts, feelings, and ideas and what we choose to share. That, I think, is the only way to really be 100% accurate in our assessments. Then bears the question, what about the people that don't have a lot of close friends (or any?) or living relatives that can help them out with this advanced profiling technique? I guess they're just S.O.L. Darn. I may have wanted to "wink" at them, but not now that I don't really get to know them before I meet them....

I know what you are thinking... Melanie is jaded. However, that isn't really true, not entirely that is. I'm not jaded. I do believe in love. And, I also believe that in some cases, internet dating is an exceptional way to meet people. I'm actually doing the "online" thing currently, as I have in the past. I think I just have different questions this time around. Want to hear them? Okay, I'll share with you my questions that I ask myself, yes, I said myself, NOT them.

How do I feel when I talk with them?

When I'm looking into their eyes, do I sense sincerity? Attraction? Discomfort? Ease?

What does my stomach say?

What is my very first reaction upon meeting them?

Do I feel comfortable, does conversation come easy?

Can I imagine being naked with them??? (Would I feel confident in my own skin? Would I want to rub skin and pink parts at some point in the relationship?)

Am I interested enough to know more that I am willing to sacrifice my precious time in order to share it with them. If I hesitate even a little, then the answer is no. And, although I may see them once more to confirm the suspicion, there is no sense wasting anyones time in dragging out the inevitable.

Listening to my inner voice is fundamental in finding a love that fits, whether you meet the man on Match.com or whether your Great Aunt Susan sets you up. It will tell you everything you will ever need to know. And, from what I understand, if you listen carefully, your would-be partner will too...