Untamed Women

I have been listening to Brene Brown's podcast, Unlocking Us. She started the podcast when the Covid lockdowns first happened, so I'm a little late to the game. I only just found the series a few months ago. The podcast, like everything Brene does, is brilliant. Have you listened yet? It's on Spotify, so I encourage you to check it out. When I listened to her interview with Glennon  Doyle... Mind = Blown!! I immediately went to my Libby app and started listening to her book, Untamed. I had to take it in doses so I could process all of the pearls that were revealed to me. I felt like she put into words and context the collective ideas, conversations, thoughts and bumbling triggers that have been happening in my body and soul for eons. I knew that her words would provoke many new and exciting conversations. It was exactly what I have been looking for and it was time for action!

So, like any motivated, middle aged, progressive Goddess would do, I started a bookclub. Only, we are just talking about this book. At least for now! Once a month, a few pages at a time, a certain quote or paragraph to inspire... and then we throw down! All of our ideas, collective and individual programming is being unleashed to look at, explore, identify and in many cases, release.

Doyle says, "Who was I before the world told me who I am supposed to be?" 

She asks this on page 6! Page 6!!! She just dove headfirst into the depths of all of our beings in the very beginning of the book! We just skipped the bullshit and went straight into the meat and potatoes of the book on freaking page 6. I love it.

So, back to that question, let's explore it here... Who were you? 

Take a moment to really think about it. Imagine yourself back then, a handful (or more) years ago. 

What did you look like? Who decided your look? Your mom? Dad? Friends? TV/Movie characters and actors and actresses? What were you into? Music? Dance? Sports? Art? Church group? Were you a good student? Did you have parents that supported you in trying on different things you felt interested in? Or did they guide you to things that would look good, produce better (friends, finances, accolades, etc...),  or make them look good to others, or what...? 

Or did they knock you down and box you in with words like, "The Carter's don't need college!" or "The Carter's are all genetically fat, you can't help being big boned!" (And here, have another helping, you're a growing girl!) Pushing their beliefs, values, limiting decisions about life, love, the pursuit of happiness and all that jazz, onto YOU?? What did you fall for, and what did you push back against?

I'm curious, how did your family and environment train you to be the person you are now? How much of that do you really choose now, as an adult? What would you shift? What will you shift now, now that you are conscious that you maybe aren't really that person afterall and you actually can be the person you are inside, now? 

Were you introverted or extroverted? Did you know that introversion and extroversion can be cultivated as a child? For example, if you grew up in a house where quiet was revered and you were constantly told to shush, you may either grow up into an adult that has a hard time speaking up and sharing ideas, often associated with being an introvert. Or, conversely, you may end up becoming an adult that talks and takes up space beyond capacity, often annoying people with dominating the conversations. This sometimes happens when you are subconsciously afraid of being shushed and unable to speak your piece. Or even afraid you will be left out. Unconsciously this is one way of lashing out against something, or someone, that tried to box you in. 

We are shaped by our environment. Nurture vs. nature is an interesting thought exploration, and I believe that they equally contribute to who you become. More and more I believe we have our essence--our soul that has a certain "personality", but one that grows, shifts, develops and refines over time. And, is heavily influenced by those we surround ourselves with.

It's important to note that I'm not questioning you to lean into who you are so that you can push blame on anyone else for what you don't like. Yes, I'm sure there's some blame to go around, but that isn't the point of this exploration. The point is for you to get more conscious about who you are and why you are the way you are. So that you can shift and adjust the parts that aren't working for you now, as an adult, so you don't have to live the rest of your life the way someone else thinks you should live it. 

You can also start looking at your parenting, if you are a parent or will be one someday, and explore ways to allow your child to discover who they are and what they believe, without being pushed into things that they don't necessarily naturally gravitate towards! And how fun to connect with your child by asking questions and getting curious about why they like certain things, and don't like others. Questioning with judgment in your tone or body language isn't going to help open the dialogue around them embracing becoming their own unique, authentic individual selves. 

I do advise that before you open this discussion course, make sure you've opened yourself up to being open to possible dissenting opinions! It's important for your kid to know that you are really curious. And then, you can share with them about your perspective and hopes for their future or their identity even without sounding controlling or manipulating. Perhaps there are ways that you can allow them to be themselves, and for you to support that, even if it isn't what you personally dreamed of for them? 

What would it have been like for you if you were given that type of latitude? How close would you be to your parents today if you felt that kind of freedom to fully be you, as a kid? How happy would you be overall if you were able to spread your wings and fly in the direction your soul wanted to take you?

Taking responsibility now for who you are, and the ability to change if you should want to/choose to, is super empowering! I encourage you to lean into this, and decide if it's time to start shifting back to your center now, or after you load the dishwasher. And, I joke, but it really is as simple as loading a dishwasher, one cup, one dish, one fork at a time... until you finally look in the mirror and recognize yourself again. And love yourself.

There will be more posts about this book. As I've already stated, there are so many pearls strewn throughout Doyle's pages that I cannot help but to investigate, pontificate, and explore the possibilities with you all!

And of course, as always, I am here to help guide you back to you, should you enjoy some support on your journey, or want to fast-track your process! I have a ton of modalities to help you clear blocks and get to the root of the weeds! It's a fun and provocative do-with process. Shoot me a message and we can talk about how this works. :)

Impermanence.

We've all heard the expression, "Nothing lasts forever".  For better or for worse, that expression is true--or is it?  There are many layers to the ideas of impermanence.  If we explore the angles with curiosity, what may we find?

A flower turns to seed, releases the seed and the plant dies back, melting softly into the earth.  The seed finds it's way into a new patch of earth and is nurtured by the dark folds of dirt and minerals.  The sun warms the seed and it begins to expand, stretching it's tiny arms to find and honor the sun.  Breaking free from the soil, it absorbs the sun, the rain, the energy around it.  All of which embolden the tiny seedling to grow ever more mighty.  And grow it does, producing leaves, and then buds, and then glorious hallelujahs of flowers!  And the flowers share their insights with the bees, the bugs, the deer and us, all of it's magical secrets freely given, until there is no more to give, and it gracefully succumbs to it's inevitable transformation back to seed.

We are born.  We come into this planet with instincts and desires, preferences and objections, attitudes and chi.  Our DNA is imprinted with all of the technology that we can imagine, but never hope to understand.

Is it that that gives us our individual purpose, our drive, our mission for life?  Or, is there something else that drives us and pushes us to endure, even when we think that we cannot any longer?

We do endure. We persist at the daily tasks of washing the dishes, weeding the yard, sorting and organizing the should's and the should not's. Carefully at times, recklessly at others, making decisions with forethought and impulsively. All in attempt to create lives of meaning. Lives worth living.

What makes your life worth living?

It's important to note, to contemplate, otherwise we are spinning our wheels from the beginning of our incarnation until the end. We don't know if there is a new beginning, like the seed from the plant that continues the cycle, and if there is, will we be conscious of it? So, what are you doing now, in this moment of your life, that you can reflect back upon in your final days and feel accomplished? What can you shift, create, or tackle that will give you a sense of peace that your life is meaningful?

When we live our lives with the intention and meaning that is in alignment with our personal philosophy and mission, we truly live. Our lives are meaningful. Make whatever shifts you need to create this meaningful life, and your life will, in turn, be worth living.

Rear View Mirror

There are times in our lives when life just scurries along, task after task, detail after detail, and there isn’t much time or energy left over for introspection or analysis. And, occasionally, you may find yourself in that moment, sometimes after a trigger event, where all you are able to do is analyze and inspect your life and the direction it is going. Other times, the catalyst to look at your life is the end of the old year, and the hopeful beginning of a New Year.

It is now January, 2018. 2017 is only seen through the foggy rear-view mirror of our memories. Let's take a moment to reflect on that.

What comes to mind when you think of 2017? What do you look back upon and smile at the memory? What makes you wince with regret or remorse? Who were the major players in your life? Which people supported you in your journey? Who played the role of saboteurs? 

What decisions created positive results in your life? What decisions did you make that snowballed into consequences that created more challenges?

What if I told you that all of it, the good, bad and ugly, were incredibly important in your mission to grow and expand your consciousness? Life sometimes sucks, doesn't it? And, when it's sucking, it's hard to see the beautiful, treasured, empowered aspects that keep us on this side of the dirt.

So, for today, let's suspend disbelief and just pretend that everything that happens to us is for our benefit. What does that feel like? Maybe you could even check in with what it may look like? What does your life look like when you accept the idea that everything happens for your benefit?

How does that change your story? How does it feel to have your story change? What part of you needs to change now, in order for your story to work and be congruent with your evolving self?

What happens if you decide to not change? What is still working in your life and what do you perhaps now recognize, that isn't working? What would it be like for you to change a bit to make room for the shift and growth to happen?

Yes! It absolutely can be uncomfortable! Yes, it may hurt, in some ways, yourself or others. Yes, you may need to be alone for a while. Yes, you may need to sit with some feelings that arise, maybe even process those feelings with a professional. And, trust me when I tell you, it's worth it. What you learn and take away from moving through difficult change and constructive self-reflection is so powerful that you will almost forget how painful your experience was. 

Like childbirth... the baby is such a glorious gift that we, on some level, forget how incredibly stressful and painful many of our birthing experiences are. And so, we have another, and perhaps another, each time in the moment of labor, remembering the previous labor and laugh/crying about how stupid we are for torturing ourselves again! But, the product of the torture is exquisite. And, worth it.

And, so is this process of owning your life, for good and for bad, reflecting on it, and then allowing yourself the grace and expansion to learn from all of it, and move forward.

And, speaking of moving forward, if you would like to dive into a super-fun and life-expanding day of creation and exploration, I am having a one day workshop on January 27, 2018 at Essential Space in Santa Cruz, CA. The class is limited to 20 participants. We will be creating Vision Journals for the year 2018. Exploring the Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual goals and dreams that are ready to be manifested! We will map out a concrete plan, clear blocks, and dive into our artistic selves with pens, papers and paints, pictures, magazines and word bites to bring all of the power of creation into form. A magical day of support and creation, what can be better? No experience necessary. All are welcome! 

To Register:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/beyond-visioning-art-journaling-class-tickets-41689491391?aff=utm_source%3Deb_email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_campaign%3Dnew_event_email&utm_term=eventname_text