The Advantages of Being "Un-Friended"

The word of the year is "un-friend". How about that? Isn't it interesting that a word that has so many negative connotations can become a "word of the year?" So, I want to share a story about being un-friended and perhaps it will help you with keeping perspective as it did me.

It's hard sometimes to not get upset when you are un-friended through resources such as facebook and myspace. This recently happened to me and even though the un-friending took place by someone that I was wanting to un-friend myself, it still stung. You see, this person and I have had a very tumultuous relationship. And, as much as I didn't see her as someone I wanted to associate with on a personal, one-on-one level, I did want to maintain some sort of acquaintance. I didn't want to burn any bridges or hurt any feelings, and frankly, I wanted to be able to be social with her if I saw her out and about. That being said, our last encounter was one that I still sometimes find myself replaying in my mind, trying to make sense out a narcissistic mess! So today I pondered what it meant to me that she didn't even want to be friends with me via a social networking site.

And, then the weight lifted.

I realized that I have been asking the Universe to put people into my life that will help me grow and become better. People that will mirror both my strengths and weaknesses. I want to surround myself with other seekers and ones that aren't afraid of what they find out about themselves. People that will be proactive in making necessary corrections. And, the Universe is answering my prayers. The people that need to be in my life for me to live out my purpose, are the people that are in it in every present moment. And that means that its okay for people to filter in and out when its appropriate. In essence, the Universe did a little weeding for me. And, as with any growth, it can sometimes be painful or touchy, but none-the-less beneficial.

So, next time you want to "un-friend" someone, or they "un-friend" you, think of it as the Universe's way of helping you get out of a relationship that no longer serves you. Helping you to focus on growing your garden, not just weeds!

We Aren't Perfect

But, we're perfect in our imperfections. Someone said that to me one time in answer to my question of why people do bad things.

Why do people do bad things? Why is it that sometimes we even KNOW that its bad, and we still can't stop ourselves from doing it. The next question is, who decided that it was bad?

I'm just going to let you pause for a moment to absorb that last question...

Did someone a long time ago make a list of "rights" and "wrongs," and then sell the package to mainstream earth? Or did it come about organically, based on the consensus of the times and the needs of the people?

I've noticed that in the last 100 years the definitions of what is "right and wrong" has certainly evolved. Funny, similar concept with me... And you? Have you found that your ideas about what are right and wrong have grown, changed, mutated, become blurry or otherwise as you have enjoyed and detested the world around you? As the hair on your head becomes thinner and the inevitable grays become thicker, are the ideas and beliefs thinning and thickening as well?

In the early 1900's, us women were choosing to have full and equal responsibilities as that of men. At some point, that choosing became demanding and the demanding became fighting for our rights for equality. In the 1960's, Black Americans stood up and fought for their rights. Currently, Gay Americans are demanding equality as well, and thankfully starting to actually make some headway! Years back, this wouldn't have even been thought possible. People wouldn't have even thought twice about bigotry towards women, minorities, and homosexuality. But now, people are coming together and demanding a new precedent be set for what is "right and wrong"! I am thrilled to see justice be served and our brothers and sisters be given opportunities that never should have been excluded from them in the first place!

So, right and wrong... What is it that you have to be so dog-gone right about, right now? Because maybe someday very soon, you'll change your mind.

Get What You Want!

Will Smith says that he lives his life without a Plan B. He says that when you have a Plan B it diverts your attention from Plan A, the plan that you really want to manifest. Will Smith is a genius.

We can live our lives having back-up plans for when things don't go as planned, but when we do that, we give the Universe an "out". If we focus on what we want, we get it (or sometimes something even better that we didn't even know we should want). When we focus on something we don't want, we get that too. So, if we are focusing on Plan A, but giving attention to Plan B, I think the Universe may get a little confused as to what we really want, don't you?

So, first you really need to decide what you want. Many of us out there have no real definitive clue as to what we want. We know what we don't want. We have some vague ideas about what we want and maybe even some ideas about how to get what we want. But really, when it comes down to it, the Universe doesn't reward vagueness. It rewards specific, measureable beliefs and desires. So, figure out what you want.

I suggest writing it down, handwritten or typed and go through everything that pops into your head. If you are wanting to know what you want regarding your job, focus on things that within that scope. Likewise, if you are focusing on material possessions, during the exercise keep with the possessions and don't deviate unless your Higher Self dictates to you that you are masking with "stuff" what you really want and need. And then, you may realize that you have just experienced a life-altering breakthrough-- but that's a whole 'nother blog!

After you have written everything down that comes to mind, begin the pruning process. For a tree to grow and bear lots of luscious fruit, it needs to be pruned and tended. The same is true for getting what you want. So, prune your document. Start by converting all of the sentences that are in a negative format into a positive expression. For example, if you were to say "I don't want to work for anyone else ever again!" Perhaps you could rephrase it to something like, "I choose/want to be self-employed". Line by line, recreate into a positive format all of your wants.

Then, eliminate all of the things that are redundent. You don't need to say the same thing over and over to get the results you desire. What you do need is to clarify anything on your list to be as specific as possible.

After you finish fine-tuning your list, it's time to give it status. Print out your list onto nice paper with a font that appeals to you, or handwrite it in your best writing and then put it somewhere that you can easily see it and keep it in your awareness on a regular basis. It's important to reflect on it and perhaps even fine-tune it further as you get closer and closer to manifesting what you want.

And lastly, you need to begin to ACT on these WANTS. Life if full of motion, not stagnation. When things are stagnant, they disease and die, when things are in action, they flourish and prosper. So, begin by acting. If you are wanting to be loved, for example, be loving (Dalai Lama). If you are wanting to work within a certain field, volunteer, go back to school for the education, read books on the subject, turn in your resume` to prospective employers... ACT, DO, CREATE, LEARN, INSPIRE!!! Go forth and put your wants into form!

Sometimes it is only with time that we are able to really be clear as to what we want, but until we start doing the exercises towards that understanding, we will only get leftovers, otherwise known as, Plan B.