I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and in which direction it's heading and I have been bombarded with ideas, thoughts and inspiration! It's amazing to think that during this time of struggle... my new marriage is currently failing... something wonderful could be emerging. I suppose that that is the way the Universe operates though, the quintessential 'One door opens as another closes' type of thing. I am working so hard on figuring out all the pieces that are missing from my marital puzzle, that it seems impossible that invention and motivation could be present! And yet, they are present. In fact, burning within me. I am literally on fire with ways that I can use all these skills that have been accumulating throughout the years! I am seeing so clearly how all the pain, frustration, and joy I've experienced has actually been helping me gain the experiences that I've needed in order to be able to play my part in this world! Pretty exciting, huh?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Lets Join the Buffalo Mentality!
I think that in general, most people would assume that buffalo are somewhat inept, stupid even. However, I just watched a video on youtube http://www.BattleAtKruger.com that definitely has me thinking otherwise. In fact, I think that we as human beings would be well served to learn from them!
This video depicts a small family of buffalo, two adults and a child walking along the waters edge. In the near distance, a family of lions are observing them, salivating of course. As the buffalo approach the lions, the lions attack. The buffalo turn and run, as logic and instinct would dictate! The lions capture the baby buffalo, it being the weakest link, and start preparing their supper. Unbeknownst to the lions, the parent buffalo were gathering the herd for help and support. They came back as a unified force and surrounded the lions and attacked them, ultimately rescuing the baby from the lions clutches! The lions will go hungry tonight, and the buffalo have rallied together, collectively, to keep their child and their future, safe.
The reason this spoke so fiercely to me is that I am rarely seeing that observed in our society anymore. I remember when I was a child, I knew most of my neighbors and they knew me. When I did something naughty, they either took it upon themselves to discipline me or they marched me right down to my parents and ensured that my folks would take care of it! And, my folks did! A blind eye was never turned in my home. If you broke the rules, you faced the consequences. Ultimately, I learned to think twice before doing something I knew could get me in trouble!
And conversely, those same neighbors were the ones that would rally around me, tend my wounds if I were hurt, watch me if my parents were late home from work, talk to me when I had a bad day, defend me against the bullies of the world... they would keep me safe as one of their own. What is happening to our social consciousness that we aren't taking care of the children? When did the rights of the pedophiles become more important? When did political correctness and "not wanting to get involved" take over our natural instincts to protect and help?
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. If you look around at our world you can certainly see where that is true. The places, the towns, the neighborhoods, the families that all contribute collectively to the nurturing and growth of our children are precisely the areas with the least crime, the highest academic accomplishments and achievements, and with the greatest amounts of overall happiness. And, financial prosperity has nothing to do with it! It is all reflective of our individual roles as caretakers of our children, amassed as a whole. We all make a difference, whether we want to or not. So, together lets choose to start making a difference that improves humanity. Let's rally together in our own herds and protect our children, our future and theirs. If we all gather together, as the buffalo, defeating the lions will not only be a possibility, but a relatively easy reality!
This video depicts a small family of buffalo, two adults and a child walking along the waters edge. In the near distance, a family of lions are observing them, salivating of course. As the buffalo approach the lions, the lions attack. The buffalo turn and run, as logic and instinct would dictate! The lions capture the baby buffalo, it being the weakest link, and start preparing their supper. Unbeknownst to the lions, the parent buffalo were gathering the herd for help and support. They came back as a unified force and surrounded the lions and attacked them, ultimately rescuing the baby from the lions clutches! The lions will go hungry tonight, and the buffalo have rallied together, collectively, to keep their child and their future, safe.
The reason this spoke so fiercely to me is that I am rarely seeing that observed in our society anymore. I remember when I was a child, I knew most of my neighbors and they knew me. When I did something naughty, they either took it upon themselves to discipline me or they marched me right down to my parents and ensured that my folks would take care of it! And, my folks did! A blind eye was never turned in my home. If you broke the rules, you faced the consequences. Ultimately, I learned to think twice before doing something I knew could get me in trouble!
And conversely, those same neighbors were the ones that would rally around me, tend my wounds if I were hurt, watch me if my parents were late home from work, talk to me when I had a bad day, defend me against the bullies of the world... they would keep me safe as one of their own. What is happening to our social consciousness that we aren't taking care of the children? When did the rights of the pedophiles become more important? When did political correctness and "not wanting to get involved" take over our natural instincts to protect and help?
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. If you look around at our world you can certainly see where that is true. The places, the towns, the neighborhoods, the families that all contribute collectively to the nurturing and growth of our children are precisely the areas with the least crime, the highest academic accomplishments and achievements, and with the greatest amounts of overall happiness. And, financial prosperity has nothing to do with it! It is all reflective of our individual roles as caretakers of our children, amassed as a whole. We all make a difference, whether we want to or not. So, together lets choose to start making a difference that improves humanity. Let's rally together in our own herds and protect our children, our future and theirs. If we all gather together, as the buffalo, defeating the lions will not only be a possibility, but a relatively easy reality!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Listening
Lately I have been confronted with my listening skills, or rather, my lack there of. I had always considered myself a good listener, an empathetic ear and occasionally a keen adviser. And, I have always enjoyed being with other apt listeners. I have recognized how my soul responds and feels soothed. And, to the contrary when I don't feel well listened to.
One thing that I've noticed is that when I am listening carefully, I am actively engaged in the story that is unfolding. I am withholding my arguments, judgments and affirmations. I am not thinking up clever responses or debates. I am simply listening. Now, when you are in a competitive debate with someone, sometimes it is appropriate to gather your thoughts while the other is talking in order to be prepared for your turn. However, when you are in the company of a friend, acquaintance or loved one, that is not a respectful listening response. For a long time I thought that by inserting my comments and thoughts while they were speaking was the best way to show someone that I was listening and caring about what they were sharing with me. Now, I am more under the impression that it is wiser to pause if need be when they are finished speaking, collect your thoughts and opinions based on the entire verbiage, and then comment as necessary.
As I have chosen to actively apply this new consciousness I have towards listening, I've begun to see more clearly how few of us (I'm still working on being lumped into the "us" grouping) actually listen well. And frankly, it has been a real challenge for me. I find myself telling my loved ones to stop interrupting.... to listen to me... to allow me to finish my thought... to Shut Up! even. Losing my patience often with them, saying a variety of things such as "Forget it!" or "I don't know why I bother to ever speak!" etc... It is certainly creating a lot of uncomfortable moments within my household.
So, that brings me to my next observation about listening, and being truly "heard". We all want to be heard. Even people who are quite shy and introverted want to be heard (in some form or another). We ALL want others to know that we exist. That we have contributions to be made, interesting thoughts from time to time, funny antidotes... We all have an intrinsic need to be known, that our existence matters to someone, somewhere.
That is why listening carefully is so vital. It is the best and most powerful tool to show respect for another. To show through apt attention that the person that is speaking matters, even when you disagree with what is being said. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, I challenge you to create body language and visual contact that communicates with the person to whom you are listening to that you truly are engaged and really hearing them attentively.
One thing that I've noticed is that when I am listening carefully, I am actively engaged in the story that is unfolding. I am withholding my arguments, judgments and affirmations. I am not thinking up clever responses or debates. I am simply listening. Now, when you are in a competitive debate with someone, sometimes it is appropriate to gather your thoughts while the other is talking in order to be prepared for your turn. However, when you are in the company of a friend, acquaintance or loved one, that is not a respectful listening response. For a long time I thought that by inserting my comments and thoughts while they were speaking was the best way to show someone that I was listening and caring about what they were sharing with me. Now, I am more under the impression that it is wiser to pause if need be when they are finished speaking, collect your thoughts and opinions based on the entire verbiage, and then comment as necessary.
As I have chosen to actively apply this new consciousness I have towards listening, I've begun to see more clearly how few of us (I'm still working on being lumped into the "us" grouping) actually listen well. And frankly, it has been a real challenge for me. I find myself telling my loved ones to stop interrupting.... to listen to me... to allow me to finish my thought... to Shut Up! even. Losing my patience often with them, saying a variety of things such as "Forget it!" or "I don't know why I bother to ever speak!" etc... It is certainly creating a lot of uncomfortable moments within my household.
So, that brings me to my next observation about listening, and being truly "heard". We all want to be heard. Even people who are quite shy and introverted want to be heard (in some form or another). We ALL want others to know that we exist. That we have contributions to be made, interesting thoughts from time to time, funny antidotes... We all have an intrinsic need to be known, that our existence matters to someone, somewhere.
That is why listening carefully is so vital. It is the best and most powerful tool to show respect for another. To show through apt attention that the person that is speaking matters, even when you disagree with what is being said. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, I challenge you to create body language and visual contact that communicates with the person to whom you are listening to that you truly are engaged and really hearing them attentively.
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