"That sin is wanting to know more than we are supposed to know, wanting more instead of being grateful for what we have, and doing what we want to do instead of what we should do." -Glennon Doyle from her book, Untamed.
I used to think that the honor of a woman was to do what was expected and to be kind and submissive in the process. I thought that. I was told, in so many words or less, that that was how I needed to be. How I needed to express myself and submit to the world.
I have a vagina. Therefore, I should get married by a certain age, procreate the acceptable 2-4 children, be a good cook and baker, tend the garden, wash the sheets weekly, and make sure that dinner was on the table for my family by 6 pm. I should make love to my husband whenever he had the desire, even if I wasn't in the mood. It's good for them and it isn't that hard to do--just take one for the team. Maybe you'll even enjoy it, eventually.
This programming that most of us women, in some form or another, have had to endure, is nothing short of a centuries old patriarchal manipulation to make women subservient to men. Throughout time, this is an ideal that has been drilled into society. And the real-life consequences of this "dumbing down" of women and what they are capable of accomplishing is a real dumbing down of society.
Women are powerful catalysts of growth and change. We model this with every pregnancy and delivery. We are literally made to create change. To cultivate ideas. To multitask and manage crises. We are effective problem solvers. We tend to be less aggressive regarding physical violence. We are smart, strong and capable. We are so much more than just housewives put on the planet to serve men and raise children. And we are great at serving and for some of us, we take great joy in that. We just shouldn't be limited to that.
And yep, I know, we aren't being forced into that box anymore. We get to choose. And yet, how difficult
it is to choose to live an independent, career-oriented life, with all of the background noise that continuously tells us that humanity is suffering because women aren't staying home to care for the children anymore... The world keeps trying to "should" on us, and even when we make a different choice, there is an undercurrent of guilt and judgment from the world that creates defensiveness and internal judgment or guilt because we aren't doing what we "should" be doing. Says who??? History. (History written by old white men, predominantly.)
So we sin by thinking and feeling and challenging ourselves to be, do, and have more than our mothers and grandmothers. We sin by modeling powerful women who have decided that their truths and authentic selves are just as important as a mans and unabashedly move towards their goals and ideals. We sin by using our vaginas for personal pleasure, and not just for procreation. We sin by holding boundaries and saying, "No more!". We sin because we tasted the fruit, and we liked it. We ate the whole thing and asked for more. We sin because we know that the "Tree of Knowledge" was planted for us, not to tempt us. We sin because we know that we are not actually sinning-- that it's just control by people that are so fear-based they need to control everyone they can in order to feel safe, safe in both power and greed. We "sin" because we know that we can never fully be safe in this unpredictable world, but we can feel safe inside; honoring our choices, thoughts, ideas, strengths, beliefs, talents, etc... living our authentic, sacred, gorgeous life purposes.
The sin is a construct that holds us back and keeps us from the kingdom of heaven, which is simply us living our best lives the way we see fit.
Ponder these ideas. Some may feel new to you. Some of my thoughts you may even have a strong negative reaction to. You may choose to be curious about your reaction and explore the rabbit hole of beliefs that may be impacting your reaction. I challenge you to take some time to really contemplate what and how you are feeling. Where do these feelings come from? Your parents? Religion? Social network? So many things in life are constructed by the idea that "this is what has always been done", but as Maya Angelou says, "Do your best until you know better; then when you know better, do better."
