Your Life is YOUR Message!

“My Life is My Message” ― Mahatma Gandhi

This is true for all of us... What message are you sending? Is it an immediate message, like an e-mail or a text? Or, rather, like a message in a bottle, where the intended information may never land into the hands of the desired recipient. I encourage you in the New Year to be clear in your message. Through your words, your actions, your thoughts… Live with the intention of what your desired outcome is.

If you are loving someone, perhaps it’s time to share your love. And, if it isn’t appropriate to tell them, perhaps you may enjoy just sending them the clean vibration of love, without any strings attached or expectations. Real love isn’t binding in it’s expression. It’s not dependent upon being reciprocated. It just IS.

If you are wanting a new friendship to develop or deepen, perhaps it is time for you to take it to the next level by initiating a get-together… a coffee date, a movie, a walk.

If you are wanting new business connections, perhaps you can DO business with others’. Leave out the expectations of whether or not they reciprocate. Just spread the good news of the quality of their business and watch as others’ perceive YOUR business as being of the highest quality too!

Like attracts like. Be fully what you would like to receive. Allow for others’ to not be in your same space, we are all in our own place of growth, and we learn best from all the different people we come in contact with, the ‘young’ and the ‘old’.

Bring into this New Year a hope everlasting… Know deep inside that dreams really do come true. Love is Bliss. Time does heal all wounds. And, that your contribution to the world is just as valuable as mine, as your Uncle Tom’s, as the woman down the street, and even as valuable as Mahatma Gandhi himself! You are blessed and loved… Cheers!

Happy Holidays!

The holidays always have a certain element of the ole' "hustle and bustle" that creates a bit of a frantic feeling. There never seems to be enough time... Trying to plan who's coming over, where everyone is going to sleep, what presents go to whom, and how the heck are we supposed to feed all these people?! It's chaotic, full of memories, laughter and tempers, and always a little football. Too many sweets, too much debt, and too little sleep. Somehow, we manage... we get through... and then, we collapse!

The holidays are also a time to cherish... our friends and family that come together with the intention of loving and sharing time together. Despite the outcome, the original intentions are rarely anything other than each of us wanting it to go smoothly and joyously. It doesn't always go as planned. And, sometimes our family can drive us crazy. But, if we can try to remember that then original intentions were positive, at least we can go home with those positive feelings.

Life is too short to hold grudges. It's too short to let the little stuff get in the way of the big picture. Wrap yourself in a hug of knowledge that your family loves you, even if they don't always show you in your preferred love language.... or even if they don't know how to show you love at all.

I'm awfully lucky to have a family to love. And, a family that loves me too...

I wish you all the love and joy and forgiveness that each holiday season requires!

Gratitude: The Key to Healthy Relationships

Let’s face it, relationship zeal can falter in even the strongest, most healthy relationships. Be it with your best girlfriend, colleague, or your beloved, there will be times that are more dynamic and intimate than others. So, how do you get a pulse back into your flat-lined relationship? Expression of gratitude. Even when you don’t feel any. Ever heard of the expression, “Fake it till you make it”? Well, it works. Now, I’m not typically in favor of inauthentic expressions, however, sometimes they can be the difference that makes the difference. Did you know that if you are feeling blue and you force yourself to smile that it will naturally start the process of releasing endorphins which will naturally take you out of the blues! Same concept with gratitude. Start feeling it, expressing it, living it, and it will start reflecting back onto you from every encounter. We can even make a difference in our relationships by expressing our gratitude for another in private. Science isn’t sure how it works, but here are the general, non-scientific, explanations: You yourself are putting out subconscious vibes of approval and love and the other person picks up on it. You put your message out into the “collective unconscious” and the other person receives your message through that channel. You literally, psychically, plant the thought and love into the other person, they have no choice but to receive the message. However you choose to believe it works, is the exact and perfect answer to how it works. Just know that it does work!!!

Exercises for Bringing Life into Strained Relationships

Exercise #1

1. Take a few moments to sit down and think about who is in your life that you would like to have a better relationship with. It doesn’t have to be a key person, it can be as simple as the mailman that seems annoyed all the time. But, it can be a key person, such as your husband/partner, that things seem “off” or lackluster with. Make a list if need be.

2. Systematically go down through the list and make mental notes (or physical ones!) describing all the qualities that you admire in the person.

3. Meditate on each of the people on the list with the positive attributes you’ve recognized, thanking them for the parts you’re grateful for.

4. Do this daily as a practice of meditation and gratitude. I like to do it as I go to sleep at night. I feel like it calms my spirit and helps me to remember who and what are important in my life, and why. I sleep like a contented baby….

Exercise #2

1. Think about one person that you have a strained or distant relationship with that you would like resolved. Preferably, this person lives in proximity or you will be seeing them shortly.

2. Think about what has gone wrong in the relationship from your perspective. Then, put yourself in their shoes for a few moments and look at your relationship, good and bad, from their perspective. Allow the feelings to marinade.

3. Write them a letter sharing with them all of the things that you admire about them. It may be that they are handy around the house. It may be that they are amazingly smart. It may be that they make a great supper, or give good hugs when you are sad, or that you think they are honorable. Whatever qualities you appreciate, write it down in a letter format. Do not include anything negative. Only the positive things…

4. Meet with them and read them your letter face to face. Do this from a perspective of love and building a bridge, starting from your side of the river. Keep your expectations at bay and just let the positive energy flow.

5. Leave them the letter if they would like it.

6. Know that you are love in action.

Inspiring Minds Want to Know!

What inspires you?

What makes you want to sing in the shower, skip instead of walk, and compliment others' instead of remaining silent?

For me, it's the smile on a child as I pass them by... a really great rhythm on the radio... a kiss on my cheek from my son... a kind word from a stranger...

Truly, things as simple as this are creating magic in the world! We have the opportunity every single day to touch someone's lives in a positive way! So, what's stopping you? What makes us decide to be in a bad mood and spread it like the plague, when we can take that bad mood and flip it with one smile and a sigh?

The challenge of the day is this: Next time you are feeling out of sorts and not very nice and inspired, go and tell three people something nice that you notice about them, smile at a stranger, and let someone in in traffic or any kind of line. Just do it and then notice what it does to YOU.

Namaste friends...

An "In-Mind Vacation" to Enjoy...

Does anyone else out there occasionally just get an overwhelming desire to go away? Not necessarily to disappear, but to rather transport yourself to another place, a new experience, a quiet beach, a mountain top... anywhere other than where you are right now?

Yep. That would be me lately.

I keep looking at www.travelzoo.com for all the last minute getaway specials, but with being a single mother, just hopping on a plane doesn't happen! So, I'm going away in my mind... I take the fast route, inside my subconscious, using a self-hypnosis techniques that I'm going to walk you through in moment.

It's very simple. In fact, you may even wondering if it really does work, because it is so simple... but be assured, it does!

This is how it works.

Close your eyes....

Take three deep, slow breaths... and repeat to your self, RELAX.... with each exhalation

Imagine you are in the most beautiful, safe place that you have ever laid your eyes on. Even if your eyes have only seen it in your imagination or in a magazine, it doesn't matter. Imagine it in full color. With all the details that you would take in if you were actually there in person. The smells in the air, the sounds around you, any sensations of touch you may experience. The finite branches of a tree, the lapping of a wave, the tickle of a ladybug landing on your shoulder... imagine it all...

And let yourself absorb the serenity... Absorb the relaxing energy of your safe place. The place where you can be alone, and yet never be lonely. The place where you matter. Where you can metaphorically, charge your battery. Imagine it and allow it.

Process whatever needs to be processed. Fall into a slumber. Meditate. Meet with your inner healer or your higher self and ask for guidance and then listen and trust in the answers that intuitively come to you!

When the time comes for you to return from your "vacation", just open your eyes and let the present moment come softly to you. Bring the sanctity of your safe place into your current situation, the peacefulness you allowed inside, to radiate outward.

I hope this little exercise brings you the peace and inner escape that sometimes our crazy world requires of us.

Namaste.

Fear: What Are You Running From?

I've been thinking about fear lately. In fact, it's really crept into many aspects of my life, in very passive, and not so passive, ways.

The other night I was dreaming that I kept coming into contact with this really creepy man in my house. When I would find myself alone with him, I would run away desperately, with the slow, weighted moves of someone running through waste-high water. He would always nearly catch me, just in the instant that I would open the door to the outside. A friend was just on the other side of the door. My fear of the man would vanish, leaving only a subtle anxiety. The three of us would walk outside and I would relate with this man conversationally as if he were a friend or mentor, not some crazed psycho intent on hurting me.

I awoke that morning in a state of wonder, and possibly some mild arrhythmia...

The wonder has pulled at me, exploring the depths of my being, seeking the symbolism of the dreams message. What am I afraid of, that I run away from, when I am alone, but I can tackle relatively peacefully when I am with others? Is it as simple as... paperwork??? Or, perhaps it is more complex and I'm just not quite connecting the dots.

Whether its the paperwork or something else, it has really gotten me thinking about fear, and how it manifests in my life. And, how it may be manifesting in yours.

Are there areas of your life that you just avoid because the fear of failure, or the fear of embarrassment, or the fear of rejection is just too great? Or, perhaps it's just something that you don't like to do (paperwork anyone??)

With obvious precaution, perhaps it's time to step outside of your comfort zone and try something that makes you just a little uncomfortable. I'm starting with my notorious piles of paperwork that I look at and virtually RUN from every day... but for you, maybe it's something more like this:

Go ahead... ask that pretty girl out.

Sign up for the advanced class and give it a try.

Dance. Laugh fully. Say hello to a stranger. Take on a new business venture. Travel to Istanbul.

And, if you happen to be a master paperwork procrastinator... Get your paperwork done...

Your Mindset Dictates Your Outcome

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." ~Henry Ford

"That which you are seeking, is seeking you." ~Rumi

What do these famous quotes have in common? Mindset, to put it simply.

The Law of Attraction has been quite the buzz for the last few years. People's awareness is increasing and many people are capitalizing on it. And why not? There have always been those who are meant to teach, and those who are meant to learn. And, the "law" is an amazing lesson to learn! It is interesting to me, however, that the message has been around for centuries, coming in and out of fashion, with a fancy "catch phrase" here and there... The Secret, anyone? But, the message is hardly a secret. It's known. It's talked about. And, it works. Unfortunately, it's also underutilized.

So what makes the Law of Attraction so compelling again now? The last forty years or so has been a pivotal time in history. Things are shaking up, rules have been broken and re-wrote and are still being re-written every day. So why now does more than half the world's population know what the law of attraction is, and yet... so many people are still struggling to utilize it? In a word, perception. Many of us were taught things like "If it seems to good to be true, then it probably is" (says who?), "easy come, easy go" (really?), "there is nothing for free" (except Costco samples). All of these sentiments have value and are totally accurate and appropriate... within certain contexts. For example, if a dashing man tells you of a shady investment that will only cost you most of your life savings, but the chances of making millions off of this deal are 100 to 1, but the facts and fictions don't add up very well, then perhaps you should pay heed to the old saying of something being too good to be true! But, to hold the idea in your head that every potential investment that you could partake in is a 'too good to be true' deal, just because you could make a nice profit, is likely just a fear mindset pattern that will hold you back from ever maximizing your earning potential.

There is a time and a place to apply the old adages. This is where using common sense, listening to your intuition, holding sacred space for the possible, and maybe hedging your bets a little... come into play. We aren't foolproof 100% of the time. Nor does the Law of Attraction work for every possible scenario all the time. The Universe is a glorious, vast expanse of amazing opportunities. You have to give a little wiggle room for the scenes to play out the many ways they could. How boring would Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell be if the movie director never let them add-lib or run with their comedic brilliance? Let the Universe have a little play room with It's brilliance!

Explore attraction. Look into the seat of your soul and excavate your most passionate desires. Take that desire and create an outline of how your can express your desire. Be specific without being rigid. Then open yourself up to it happening! Let the Universe show you how and where, and when it will unfold!

I have to share a little personal story now... I knew that it was time to leave Spokane, my hometown. My ex-husband and I had all these wonderful adventures that we were going to manifest together that would take us to other parts of the world, but then we had the "stuff" come up between us that ultimately ended our marriage. I was left with still wanting to create an adventurous life. I felt like an eagle with a broken wing--I knew I had it in me to soar, I just needed to mend and change my environment first. So, I started writing up a manifestation, otherwise known as, a loose outline of what I desired and where I desired to live. I explored different areas of the world that were curious to me and narrowed my search for a new town down to a few geographic areas.

And then, I went on a vacation with a couple of old friends that I had reconnected with through the mysteries of Facebook. We had an absolutely marvelous time and in the course of the vacation, I shared with them about my desire to move. They insisted that I come and visit them in their beloved beach town of Santa Cruz, CA. I had never even considered living in the Bay area because of the high cost of living, but San Francisco had been one of my favorite all-time cities in the world, and so I was a little curious to see if I would like living in the area. So, I went for a visit, fell in love with the area and the proximity to the city, set a move date and viola! Moved to Santa Cruz less than six months later! And, my life has gone into overdrive with that of loving friendships, male affection, interesting and wonderful clients, opportunities knocking around every corner... it's been a dream come true!

Those two friends were a catalyst for change for me. They were so incredibly there for me when I was vulnerable and scared in a new, exciting transition--and the Universe knew that that was what I needed to move me into this life of opportunity that I was meant for! You never know what or who will come up or how it will manifest, unless you keep open and let the Universe do it's magic!

Life is an adventure. Just like in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, there is a delicious surprise around every corner. If you can allow a shift to occur in your thinking that will accommodate that perception. You allow that shift in thinking to happen one thought at a time. When a negative thought, or lack mentality idea comes to you, recognize it for what it is, then let it go... laugh it off as ancient history... reframe it into a positive viewpoint... maybe even make up a short mantra that you can repeat over and over so it sticks...

In fact, repeat after me:

I am capable... I am amazing... I am love... I attract opportunities... I am happy... I am love.....

Good Massage News

What makes a massage a good massage?

So often I have people come to me that tell me how much they love being massaged. Or, conversely, they tell me that they don't really care for massage, but perhaps they have a pain in their shoulder that they can't tolerate anymore and decided to try again. In essence, any type of touch therapy that you walk away happy with, is a good massage. However, to discriminating massage connoisseurs, there are several areas that distinguish between a so-so massage and and oh-so-wonderful one! Here are some things to consider when receiving a massage so you too can be an official massage aficionado!

~As a general rule, massages should feel good, like pain is being released, not pain being inflicted! (there are occasional exceptions to this rule that a good therapist will go over with you)

~The contact and firmness of the massage should be at a level that you enjoy. If you feel like you are being bruised or like your bones are being pushed on aggressively, it's important that you speak up and let the therapist know it isn't working for you. If the pressure is too light, let the therapist know that more pressure would be appreciated, and keep telling them until they get it right! This is your dollar that is buying this massage, it needs to be about your needs!

~A good massage therapist will direct the flow towards your heart. The lymphatic system goes in both ways, but the veins have valves that only open in one direction, towards your heart. It's important to keep the blood flow in that direction, rather than against those delicate valves. Light pressure massages will not affect the valves negatively, but a deep tissue massage can, so just be conscientious.

~If you feel a little sore for a day or two after a massage, don't worry! It means that your muscles were really worked over and your body has created some lactic acid to aid in the healing process. Just like working out, massages work the body. More massages and/or workouts, the less sore you will be after. If you aren't sore at all, you may have the type of body composition that just doesn't get sore easily, or you may want to try a firmer pressure massage next time.

~Conversation. Sometimes conversation happens during a massage, and that's okay...as long as that is what you want to happen. A good massage therapist should follow your cues. If you ask questions and stimulate conversation, she should follow until you cease to ask anymore questions. If you get quiet, so should she. Unless she needs to check- in with something massage related. Then, it is important for her to know how the pressure is, if you like something special, or are disliking a specific technique. It's important for her to use active listening skills, both verbal and non-verbal. Just know that you control what ultimately happens during your massage, you're paying for it! So, if you aren't wanting to talk, say so. Gently, of course...

~Temperature, music, and oils... they all play an important role in your receiving a good massage. If you are cold, you won't be able to relax as thoroughly as is optimal, so speak up and ask for a blanket. If you aren't digging the tunes, have her turn them off, change CD's, or at least turn the volume down. If you don't like the massage oil or lotion of choice, ask her if she has another option. Often times, there are alternatives available for your enjoyment.

The bottom line is this, you can't necessarily control the ability of the therapist, but you can at least control the atmosphere and tone of the massage by making your expectations and desires clear. And, if you still don't get the type of massage that you are hoping for, please try again with someone else. Each therapist will have a unique style and technique. So, get a recommendations from someone you know. Or, look at the reviews on Yelp! or Google, or Yahoo! They are real people, with real reviews of services they have received.

Recharge Your Battery

Have you ever noticed how incredibly delicious and refreshing a good nights' sleep can be? Of course you have! And, do you know why a good rest makes you feel so good? Below you will find just a sampling of what happens to you and your body when you become sleep deprived.

1. Stress:

Our bodies naturally go into a "high alert" zone when we don't get enough sleep. Imagine your cells working triple overtime to accomplish even the smallest of tasks. A decent runner can for a few miles without being overtaxed, but if you were to ask the same runner to sprint those same few miles, the result would be very different. When you don't get enough consistent (optimal word!) sleep, it's like sprinting on your body and brain. Eventually, we just hit a wall and can't go anymore.

2. Inflammation:

Our body self-repairs while we sleep. When we don't get enough uninterrupted sleep, it prohibits the organs from doing an efficient job of cellular repair. Inflammation is one result. Inflammation is linked to cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. It also increases aging... and we all can admit (can't we???) that we want to look as young and beautiful for as long as we can!

3. Memory Enhancement:

Sleeping and dreaming are key aspects of memory. When we sleep and dream we process information we accrue throughout our days and create links and memories that stabilize our perception of reality. Lack of sleep is directly connected to Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia.

4. Weight Management:

Sleep helps to balance hormones in the body. When our hormones are not balanced, or we aren't producing enough of one kind or the other, our appetite will be affected. Hormones play a huge role in our overall function and management of our bodies and minds. Next time you want to lose weight, try increasing your sleep to 7-9 hours per night in conjunction with a healthy diet and some form of exercise and see where that takes you.

There are so many reasons to get a good night sleep. In fact, if you are interested in learning more, be sure to visit http://www.supermemo.com/articles/sleep.htm. It's a highly informative article that details valuable information about sleep and wellness.

And, I want to include a few tips to enhance your ability to have a good night's sleep...

1. Take care of your body. Stretch out, exercise, get a massage. Your body's little aches and pains, tight muscles and pinched nerves all contribute to discomfort, creating wakefulness periodically throughout the night.

2. Stop having caffeine after noon. Caffeine, even in small doses, can stimulate the brain making it harder to fall asleep.

3. Take supplements such as Melatonin, Valerian Root, or Kava Kava. Let the herbs naturally relax you into an impressive slumber.

4. Drink herbal tea. Not only are there wonderful antioxidants in many herbal tea formulas, but they can also relax and encourage a good nights rest. Try Traditional Medicinals, it's easily found in grocery stores and natural food markets and boasts premium quality herbs. To find out more or to order try this link http://www.traditionalmedicinals.com/calming_teas.

5. Have sex. Yes, I said it. Sex. It's wonderful for releasing hormones, endorphins, and natural relaxants. Not to mention, you can burn a few calories too!

Sleep well my friends!

There is No Time For Goodbye

When the time comes to say goodbye to a loved one when they are nearing transition into the great beyond, how do you say it? How can you say it? There is no time for goodbye, not when goodbye comes too quickly.

My Aunt, so often doubling as a mother to me at different times in my life, is finally succumbing to the ovarian cancer that has assumed control of her body.

My Aunt... so many stories to tell of her caretaker's soul. The dogs and cats in the neighborhood pooled their resources a long time ago and started an outreach program for all the strays and wounded animals. They would show up at her door and would always find some food, warmth, and especially love in her arms of safety. So much loving care for others, even people! Her work at the hospital kept her busy most days, and caring for her ailing mother the rest of the time. My great Aunt, her mother, passed just after her diagnoses was made. It broke her heart not to have been with her. Always thinking of others, especially family.

I saw her, last January, and we talked about death... and about living. She'd defeated her fear of dying. But, the fear of living in agony had moved in. That may be the hardest part. The idea that one may be tortured by their own body. Betrayed after years of loving care, both by the body caring for the soul, and the soul, caring for the body. Some people have been abused for years and years by their dying bodies. Ravaged by cancer cells mutating and molesting in ceaseless, indestructible patterns. Others are taken quickly to the beyond. Either way, goodbye is hard to come by, and so very hard to say.

It feels hideous to my ears to say this, my fingers to type this, but I am relieved. I am relieved that her suffering will not last long. Just long enough for people to come to her and try to find time, find a way... to say goodbye. My love, all of our love, surrounds her as she comes upon her final hour. I know, or rather, I believe, that the transition to the great beyond will bring her great peace and clarity. Another dimension that is so connected that we never leave here, for there... we never leave there, for here either.

We all have an Aunt--a loved one that's time has come--and there is never enough time for goodbye. Never enough time to reiterate our deepest affections. Never enough time to let go of the hurt, the old wounds, the fears, the loss, the abandonment that comes from them leaving... But, they know. In their deepest moments of clarity, they see and feel the love come through them in waves of energy and light. They never leave us, we never leave them. The energy is ever present.

I, likely much like yourself, am very, very lucky and honored to have wonderful people in my life to surround and support me. My Aunt is one of them. Soon, her form will be different, but her love and support will still be viable. I have no time for goodbye. My love goes with her beyond.

Perspective

Perspective can be an elusive spy. Just when you think you have it, it ducks around a corner and an illusion takes it's place.

I don't think I have all the answers by any means, but I am learning from my mistakes and observing the mistakes of others. And, I'm learning about what other's have learned and shared, not necessarily as mistakes, but as inspirations. I want to share with you what I have learned from this collective inspiration.

You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want. That said though, it's a really good thing to keep open doors of possibility. Those doors that lead to the spaces where your wildest imagination hasn't yet breached. Those are the doors that the Universe loves to open and surprise us with!

Carve out of your consciousness enough room for the inconceivable. Enough room for the miraculous. Enough room for sublime joy. It is possible. It happens every day to random people. It CAN happen to you.

Fear is the equivalent of a cockblock. It sits next to you, on you, inside of you and blocks the Universe from granting you abundance. It feeds itself, much like the monster under your bed. It is imagination at its worst. It festers and gets stronger with more thoughts about it. It's harder to kill than a cockroach. It feeds depression... shame... lack of self-worth... It creates a downward spiral of all things negative. Practice letting go of fear. Talk to yourself about how the fear is irrational. How it's unproductive. How it's unhealthy. How it tears relationships apart.

When fear, depression, or loneliness creep into your consciousness, don't feed them! Watch happy movies. Listen to happy, upbeat music. Surround yourself with happy people and steer clear of the Negative Nelly's of life. Change your thoughts. It is truly the one thing that you have 100% control over in life (barring any mental illness!). It's hard, but the rewards are worth it. Every time a negative, fear-based thought comes into your mind, re-frame it into a positive, healthier version of the thought. For example: "I'm never going to meet my soulmate" (boo-hoo) into "I am meeting interesting, wonderful people every day! One of these people may even be my soulmate!"

Get curious and allow for adventure! Get to know people and open yourself up to the possibilities that surround you! Start with incremental changes in your thought processes and let it flow from there. And most importantly, step back and take in the view. Seeing the big picture or multiple perspectives is a fast and healing way to start enjoying life and the people that share in it!